A Really Unexpected Journey
by nickcleggenthusiast
Summary: Frodo is looking to have a nice day relaxing in his garden, until he gets an unexpected visitor.
1. Chapter 1: An Unexpected Visitor

In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. You must be wondering, what is the name of this hobbit? Well, just look at the character list, you dipshit. This hobbit's name is Frodo Baggins.

Frodo Baggins enjoyed things that many other hobbits enjoyed. He loved nice weather, good food, and jolly times with his closest friends, but it stops there. Frodo also enjoyed things that hobbits don't usually enjoy. He loved frequenting elves and dwarfs, he also loved adventures. He had previously been on an adventure to destory a certain ring in a far more superior piece of literature to this one. But this isn't about that adventure, this is about a whole new one entirely.

Frodo was just out in his garden, enjoying the summer sun with his good friend Sam. Well, they're obviously more than good friends, but we don't want to say that right now so we can build up the sexual tension between these two characters over the course of the story to make it somewhat interesting.

"Frodo?"

"Yes, Sam?"

"Do you fancy going on an adventure anytime soon?"

Frodo laughed light-heartedly,"I don't see why not, but I think we should relax here for a week or so, we've only just come back!"

"Yes, but Mister Frodo, that was only to Mirkwood, what if we could go further?"

"Further?"

"Yes! Further! Maybe even further than we've ever been before?"

"And where would that be?" he smirked.

Suddenly, their conversation was cut short by a tall wizard walking up to their gate. He smiled at the two hobbits and greated them with a "Good Morning". This was unusual, Gandalf very rarely came to the Shire and Frodo was adament to find out why.

"Ah yes Frodo, there is a reason why I'm here," he announced, "I have sensed a disturbance in the Force and I've come here to warn you all."

"Warn us all of what?" asked Sam.

"I'm not quite sure yet," muttered Gandalf, he seemed confused and on-edge even. It made the two Hobbits terribly nervous. A disturbance? Here? In the Shire? Surely not, this is a peaceful place with peaceful inhabitants. Why would someone attack such a place?

Then, something quite unusual, and slightly frightening even, happened. They heard a whirring noise, of the likes they'd never heard before. It seemed to get louder, and louder, and louder as they noticed a big blue box appear on the path in front of Frodo's fence, right next to Gandalf. When it stopped, the box was just there, where had it come from?

Gandalf seemed most intrigued. He examined the box from top to bottom, not knowing what to think of it. Then the door flew open and a panicked man wearing a red bow-tie dashed out.

"We've got to save these Hobbits!" he said.


	2. Chapter 2: An Unexpected Invasion

"What do you mean 'save these Hobbits'?" Gandalf asked the strange fellow, "and who may you be?"

"I am the Doctor, and you are all about to be invaded by the Velocipods in about 30 seconds," he said.

"What are Velocipods?" asked Gandalf.

"Doctor what?" asked Frodo.

"30 seconds?!" exclaimed Sam.

"I'll explain later what they are. It's Doctor Who, not What. And yes, 30 seconds, so I should be off, I'm getting back-up, try and hold them back as much as you can."

And before any of the other three could protest he dashed back into his box and disappeared immediately, fading away as if nothing had never happened. But, they were soon reminded that it did and had no time to dwell on their disbelief, for a huge ship materialised in the sky above them, almost covering the entirety of Hobbiton in a dark shadow. Hobbits everywhere stood outside their Hobbit-holes, staring up at the sky. This worried Gandalf greatly, he had no idea what these Velocipods were, but he couldn't risk the lives of these Hobbits being put at risk if it turned out they were dangerous. He turned swiftly to Frodo and Sam.

"Go inside and don't come out, hurry!" he ordered, then ran from path to path, from Hobbit-hole to Hobbit-hole, commanding the other Hobbits to do the same. Since they were so afraid of the ship, they did as they were told without hesitating. Frodo and Sam were reluctant to follow his order, but eventually did.

From Frodo's little window in the front of Bag-End, the two Hobbits peered out at Gandalf, trembling. In front of the wizard, a beam of blue light appeared, and in it appeared three strange alien creatures. The Hobbits had never seen any of the likes! The looked a lot like velociraptors to you and me, but I don't think there were ever dinosaurs in Middle Earth so there's 100% chance that this freaked everyone the fuck out. Everyone except Gandalf of course, nothing could freak him out, cool wizards don't get freaked out by simple things like space dinosaurs. But these were no ordinary space velociraptors, because they weren't, they were Velocipods. They were a highly intelligent alien species which held the Space-Guinness World Record for amount of civilisations destroyed and colonised. They wore an armour made of a rare metal that has only been found on one planet (of course it was one they colonised, and nobody knows who previously inhabited said planet), this metal being Lacertarmisium. It covered them from head to tail, and on their chest plate were the initials "EM".

Gandalf locked eyes with the larger Velocipod out of the three. Despite being a ruthless conqueror, the Velocipod couldn't help but feel slightly nervous around the powerful wizard. He'd watched all the films and knew that Gandalf was a total badass. This gave Gandalf the opportunity to speak first.

"Greetings," he said cautiously, "What brings you all to the Shire?"

The larger Velocipod narrowed his eyes, trying to shake off whatever intimidation he was feeling, "I am General Kulus, and my soul purpose here is to build a new colony for the Great Velocipod Empire."

"Oh no you don't!" suddenly cried a voice out of nowhere.


	3. Chapter 3: An Unexpected Reinforcement

Gandalf turned towards the source of the voice. It was the Doctor, riding on the branch of an Ent, and joining him were many other Ents too, two of them with someone else on their branches. There was Aragorn and Arwen on one, and on another was Legolas and Gimli. The Ent advanced, ready to defend the good and peaceful Hobbits.

"What the fuck?" exclaimed General Kulus, "are those trees... moving?"

"General, should we call for reinforcements?" asked one of the other Velocipods.

"Damn right we should!" he cried, and with that many, many beams of blue light flashed down from the ship, an armour-clad Velocipod emerging from each one of them. The battle commenced. Gandalf using his staff to obliterate any Velocipod that dared to come at him. Arwen and Aragorn unsheathed their blades and jumped straight into battle. Gimli followed, his axe sharper than ever, it mowed through the Velocipod army like a knife through room-temperature butter. Legolas stayed on his branch, arrows whizzing off his bow and expertly taking out the invaders. The Doctor stayed on his Ent though, as the furious foliage ravaged the overwhelmed army.

It was complete carnage, and Gandalf was relieved beyond belief that he had ordered all the Hobbits to stay indoors. He didn't even want to imagine the fear they must be feeling with all this going on outside. Well, every Hobbit except Frodo and Sam. And indeed he was right.

"Sam, I'm going out there to help," said Frodo.

"No, Mr Frodo! I can't let you! Gandalf told us to stay indoors, it's best we listen to him." But it was too late, Frodo had already clad himself in his Mithril-shirt and equipped himself with Sting.

"General, we need to retreat! Now!" shouted one of the first Velocipods before getting shot right in the jugular vein by one of legolas's arrows. General Kulus was panicking, never before had one of his armies suffered such a defeat, and at the hands of trees no less! He shouted some commands in his language and a blue beam took him away. The ship above Hobbiton and the rest of the living Velocipods beamed away with it.

"Oh," said Frodo, since the second he left his front gate to join his companions, the last Velocipod had beamed away. Sam ran after him and sighed in relief to see that his best-friend wasn't going to be putting his life on the line after all.

"Frodo, what do you think you're doing? I told you and Sam to stay indoors." scolded Gandalf, but was interrupted from going any further by Aragorn, Arwen, legolas, and Gimli running over to the Hobbit to give him a huge hug, each in turn.

"Frodo, son of Drogo, it been so long!" exclaimed Aragorn

"A-hem," one of the Ents fake-coughed to get their attention, "we're waiting."

"What for?" said the Doctor who had just made it back up to the Fellowship outside Bag-End.

"Payment, of course!"

"What do you desire then? We can pay you in gold, in gifts, in honors...?" offered Aragorn.

"Nah mate, we want Space-Bucks."


End file.
